Jump Off the Bridge, because you want sex.

Everyone has bitched about women (or men) (or both) from time to time. Since this is my first news post I wanted to get it out of the way. Next week I’ll start on something more intelligent. (Yes, I know you don’t care).

Are you tired of having logical conversations? Do you want someone to call you and sob endlessly on the phone because they had three cookies after dinner? Do you want to speak and get nothing but a clueless smile? Then it sounds like you need a girlfriend.

All my life I have grown up with older men whooping and drooling over younger girls. Not pedophilia young, but twenty-one to twenty-five-ish. And I am here to tell you they can have them.

I recently broke up with my girlfriend because she was boring and the only thoughts in her head were things she had eaten and fuzzy animals. Sure she had a killer body and could suck start a leaf blower, but at the cost of perpetual boredom sex and all the facsimiles there of just don’t seem important. Allow me to spew out a hacky example:

Me: Hi
Her: Hi
(Insert standard small talk here.)
Me: Do you think that society is really just a rationalization for the boundaries we imprison our selves with?
Her: I had ravioli for lunch.

That actually happened. In exactly that way, with almost those exact words.

And before last week I use to think that in this panda of a world there is bound to be a girl who can tickle all of my bamboo. But to the passer by I make about as much sense as the above comic. Which I promise I will post the actual analysis of this entire series of comics as soon as I write it. The bottom line is that there are a lot of stupid people in the world, the difference is that women have a higher saturation level.

-Steve

Well mark this day on your calender. The day Steve proved he exists.

-Derek
dagenham42@hotmail.com